Zounds. By marrying this beauty, not only do you get an endless amount of love and affection from her tender, leathery hands, you also get the responsibilty of raising and caring her three children, Nikita, Dolpfga and Rufgar. (Her previous husband left them for a 5 year old sow.) Zophga will happily fly into New York and then arrive at your town by donkey. But only, she says, "for the right man." Hang tight fellahs, it could be you.