in the sky
I get bored, we all do. Occasionally, when I'm suffering from a
lapse of entertainment in the late evenings, I'll put a pot of Colombian
coffee on and sit next to the window, smoking cigarettes in the
living room of my apartment, while looking out at the stars. I've
often wondered if the gods get bored with their intergalactic political
conflicts and just sit in their palaces looking down at Earth or
any number of other populated planets for entertainment, perhaps
drinking wine and smoking opium until they pass out.
one particular evening, I was divesting myself of the pangs of boredom
with this ritual of coffee and cigarettes, when I was inspired to
engage myself in a walk about my neighborhood. After relieving myself
extensively of the dark bubbly liquid in my bathroom, I set out.
It was very late and there was a chill in the air. Nevertheless
I merely wore a T-shirt with a Black Death cigarettes logo, jeans
strolled across familiar sidewalks for about an hour, away from
the apartment complexes and into a more affluent area, pausing every
so often to stare into a home. It would appear to me as being cutaway
like a movie set or doll house. Inside I could see a variety of
tasteless furniture, children sleeping, a couple making love.
scenes generally filled me with a sense of loneliness, of longing,
longing to be loved, to be in love. At one home I began to fantasize
about falling in love with and courting a beautiful woman, grasping
her up in my arms and walking through the doorway into the hallway
of a quaint little cottage. She would have a Persian cat named Precious,
who would develop a cute and charming relationship with my Boxer
several years of wearing each other out with intense lovemaking,
we would come to a unilateral decision to have children. The decision
would be unilateral in that as a married couple, our two kindred
spirits had become one upon the utterance of our matrimonial vows.
Because of my keen sense of direction at work, it would be possible
for my wife to quit working in order to raise children. Again, this
decision would be made of a mutual heart and mind. Our children
would go to private schools. They would be intelligent and have
a balanced, healthy interest in the arts, athletics and academia.
course, it would be tough going, saving for college and putting
money aside for retirement, but with a few cursory sacrifices and
with my wife deciding to return to the work force when the children
left for college, we would just be able to make it.
fantasy had a sense of realism about it. For example, I would go
through a period in my thirties where, due to a mid-life crisis,
I would have a short-lived affair with a woman I met on a business
trip. As my wife aged toward fifty, she would begin to lose interest
in sex, which I wouldn't understand at first. But with the aid of
several self-help relationship books, I would realize she was going
through a natural stage of her life called Menopause.
the fantasy ended when I heard a dog bark and realized that lights
were springing to life in the house I had lost myself gazing at.
I turned, thrust my hands in my pockets and ambled away.
I came upon a two-story house of conventional suburban make. White,
with a faded blue trim, there was a pepper tree centered in a small
front yard that was outlined by a short hedge. There was a white
Volvo and an old blue BMW that was faded like the trim on the house,
parked in a short driveway that ended with a two-car garage. I wondered
why the cars weren't parked in the garage.
tried to look into the house like I had done previously to envision
the occupants, but no such vision appeared. Curious, cold and still
rushing from the coffee I went over to a gate at the side of the
garage, pulled a little wire that sprung a latch and walked along
the side of the house into the backyard.
some reason I wasn't overwhelmed by any kind of fear, but I was
glad there was no dog in the yard to greet me with its ferocious
snarl and gleaming white teeth. There was, however, a set of lawn
chairs sprawled next to an outdoor table and I traipsed over and
sat down on a chaise lounge. Feeling unusually comfortable, I reached
into a pocket in my jeans and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, withdrawing
one and lighting it. I looked up at the early morning sky and wondered
about those crazy gods again. "I wish I had some wine and opium."
I finished my cigarette, I put it out on the patio beneath the chaise
and stood up looking around. I walked over to a sliding glass door.
Testing the door, I found it open and stepped into what appeared
to be a den. On one side of the room was a television and facing
the television on the opposite wall was a small couch. I walked
over to the television and retrieved a remote control resting on
top then sat down on the couch still feeling strangely comfortable.
Switching on the television, I began channel surfing like I was
switching through several channels I chanced upon a religious station.
There was a man orating on the Original Sin and God casting Adam
and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. After the sermon he performed
miraculous healings simply by blowing in the general direction of
those suffering from a variety of diseases and afflictions. I had
the curious desire for him to blow in my direction, though I wasn't
sure of exactly what affliction he would be healing in me, perhaps
I grew tired of the program and clicked the remote. The next channel
that popped up featured a soft porn film starring the late Dana
Plato. I became engrossed in the meaningless plot. A lesbian scene
with Dana flickered to life in front of me and I unbuttoned my jeans,
taking myself in my hand. As the scene progressed, I became so intensely
excited that I came right then and there.
ejaculation I had this sudden realization that I was trespassing
on someone's property. The curious feeling of comfort left me. I
hurriedly buttoned my jeans, turned off the television and slid
through the sliding glass door, closing it gently behind me. Outside,
it was cold and I could see the faint light of dawn at the edges
of the horizon. I walked back down the side of the house and out
onto the street.
I made my way back to my apartment I looked up into the sky whose
twinkling stars were beginning to fade in the early rays of morning
and thought, "I wish I had some wine, opium and lived in a
palace in the sky."