I caught a tiny bit of the Pat Robertson debate (Mojo
appeared with Robertson on Crossfire or a similar show)
awhile back. I wanted to get your reaction to some of
the current issues that we're facing right now.
The first one that comes up is the U.N. conference on
racism. Do you think we should have taken part of that
or ducked out. (I have to confess that I should've gotten
my facts straight before asking this question. We did
take part in the conference, but with no high profile
attendees like Colin Powell who would've symbolized
a bigger commitment on the United States' part.)
Well, I don't have any big comments on all that. I will
say this: Just because the Israelis were treated like
crap before, doesn't give them the right to be bigger
assholes now. Having said that, something needs to be
done over there, I dunno what. Obviously those people
have been mad at each other for four thousand years.
Here's the crazy thing - and I'm just a hillbilly from
a small town in Virginia - if I saw an average looking
Jewish guy from Israel and an average looking Arab guy
from Palestine. I couldn't tell them apart! So it's
always true that you don't fight with someone way down
the neighborhood, you fight with your next-door neighbor.
What about the current hullabaloo about the stem cell
The stem cell research thing is part of a giant pattern
of "act like it doesn't exist and it'll go away." Just
like the war on drugs and alcoholism and cigarettes.
The whole 'Just Say No' thing is ludicrous. "If we say
people shouldn't have sex they won't." Guess what? They
Well, we hope they will or we won't be around much longer.
The same with people who do drugs or drink. they will!
It's much smarter to be out in the open. With this whole
thing on abortions - you really got me ranting now -
but, no-one is "for" abortions. But who's gonna take
care of all them unwanted kids? That's the question.
In a perfect world, there wouldn't have to be abortions,
but guess what, it's not a perfect world. There's so
many people on the planet right now that need to be
dealt with. Once those people are taken care of, then
we can deal with abortion.
I find with abortion and the stem cell issue that there's
a rule - biology always trumps ethics. You can try and
come up with an ethical solution for the fact that when
a sperm meets an egg it creates a potential life and
the problems that begin there, but you'll never be able
to stop the sperm and the egg from doing that.
Well all this stuff about abstinence and masturbation
is all part of this fear of sex. And somewhere there's
this right wing religious zealot who is terrified of
people having a good time. I saw a bumper sticker the
other day that said, "If you're living like there's
no hell, you better be right." Well, what if I am right?!
FUCK YOU! It's like those bumper stickers you see that
say, "I'm not perfect, I'm just forgiven." You know
what you are is a lazy asshole! What kind of low-rent
religion allows you to do anything you want but at the
last minute you can change your mind and you're okay.
It's like you're looking for loopholes on your deathbed.
(Laughs) Well, that's my plan right there. Don't give
What kind of used-car salesman, hillbilly low-rent religion
have they come up with? There's no way to gain any merit
but at any moment you can just say, "Okay, I give up.
You win." So it's crazy. All this "act like it's not
there and it'll go away" attitude does is drive it underground.
You think abortions aren't going to happen if you pass
the constitutional amendment? Sure they are. People
have in their imagination this kind of fifties nirvana
that never existed. What happens in "West Side Story"?
That's about gangs. What's "The Man with the Golden
Arm" about? That's about drugs. What's "Peyton Place"
about? It's about an abortion. And this is part of being
human. America is so screwed up about this whole thing.
America was founded by people who were run out of Europe
for being religious zealots or criminals or they were
drug over here against their will from Africa. We're
the land of the nutjobs. We take religion about ten
times more seriously than anybody, except the cats in
Afghanistan who won't let you use toilet paper because
it might be made out of a reprocessed Koran.
You see those themes that you talk about, abortion and
substance abuse, even in the Bible itself, in the Old
Testament. Those issues were around even back then.
Sure, nothing has changed. The only thing that's changed
is that we get information faster. The whole idea that
the world is much worse now, or that crime is worse
or that violence is worse is ludicrous. The only thing
different now from two hundred years ago is that a guy
in a small town in Iowa can get the information much
quicker. But now there's a lot less crime. There's a
lot less disease and pollution. Things are getting better.
Well, another issue that is facing America right now
is the fact that Anne Heche just got married. Do you
think she was ever a lesbian?
(Laughs) The saddest thing about all that is that poor
old Ellen just ain't very funny. Ellen would be a perfect
sidekick on a T.V. show. She should be 'the friend'
or 'the goofy neighbor.' She's not the leading lady.
And then she made her whole show about lesbianism. like
Yeah, I would definitely agree that the show took a
nosedive when its focus became lesbianism. I guess I
could say the show took a muff-dive.
And I think instead of having an hour-long show with
every guest star on the planet, a smarter person would've
just let it pop out in the middle. That way, they would've
said, "Hey, it's no big deal." It was much more about
ratings and success. But the biggest problem with Ellen
is that she's just not that funny. At her funniest she's
not that funny.
Anne Heche. wasn't she knocking on doors up in Fresno?
That's correct, she went kind of insane for awhile.
I think she had a bad acid trip or something.
Yeah, who knows. And she's just some little TV actress.
With actresses and actors, you can't tell anything about
them because they make their living pretending to be
somebody else. And with the good ones, there's absolutely
nothing at the core. That's why they're so able to pretend
to be somebody else.
(Laughs) They're just so totally vacant?
Right, they're just blank pieces of paper, waiting to
be written on.
So you are doing this radio show in Cincinnati, correct?
"The Dawn Patrol?" (An FM radio morning show on Cincinnati's
WEBN, 102.7 FM. )
Yup, "The Dawn Patrol." I'm just the new second
banana. I've been fired from the talk radio station
twice for my semi-controversial opinions.
That was a different station?
It's in the same building and part of the same company.
I went to look at the station's website and there seems
to be a big "frog" theme?
It's just a basic bonehead rock station. But it's the
number one morning show and ever since they got me it's
been going really well. There's two guys that have been
there forever, Eddie and Bob, and I'm just the new guy
injecting a little new blood. I've been wanting to do
radio for a while anyway. In San Diego, nobody would
hire me. I think I made out with the program director's
wife at a party or something.
You weren't ever around San Diego when Lester Bangs
(noted rock critic) was there, we're you?
No, but Jerry Raney who was in the Beat Farmers went
to high school with him. Did you see Jim DeRogatis'
book? (Let It Blurt: the Life and Times of Lester Bangs.)
Yeah, I read it.
That's a great book. There's a million true facts in
In a lot of your songs, you kind of start them out with
a kind of spoken word thing.
Yeah, 'cuz I can't sing. If I could sing and write songs
and play guitar - I'd really be on to something.
That's worked out for a lot of people.
With what I do, people come to see the monkey show,
meaning the crazy stuff I say in between songs and whatnot.
Obviously I use very familiar musical themes in the
songs because I'm no real musician. I see real musicians
and I hate 'em. They can play any key, any song, they
can do anything. I can't do any of that.
Well, I think, especially with the Toadliquors it works
out pretty good. "Sock Ray Blue" is a sharp album
Yeah, we do what we do really well. But we can't do
nothin' else. I'm just saying that some people have
music in 'em, but I've got bullshit in me.
Do you think they'll ever be a Mojo Nixon spoken word
album? Or screaming word album?
Yeah, there's been talk of that. I do some rants on
the station once or twice a week and there's been talk
of putting them on a CD. I did something on the radio
in San Diego called "The Mojo Minute" and every day
I would do some tirade. I'm sure they'll be something
sometime. Or a live album that will mostly be me talking
and the band going (makes sound simulating a band vamping),
waiting for me to get back to the song.
Or maybe it'll all just end up on Napster and people
will be downloading it off the web.
There's some nuts out there. I'll tell ya, this Internet
thing with chat rooms has enabled all the nutjobs to
hook up. At my shows I see them all out there talking
to each other. It's terrifying. We just did four shows
two months ago and they were all there. the same five
or six nuts.
So they're like the Mojo-Heads?
The Mojonites, I call 'em. There's a few Mojoholoics.
They know a little too much.
You may have to eliminate them.
Yeah, they might need some intervention on their ass.
Well, I've got one final question for you, and then
I'll let you go. Now that Michael J Fox has Parkinson's
do you still consider him the Anti-Elvis?
I don't care how much he shakes, I don't care if he
goes back to "Spin City," he's still the Anti-Elvis.
And the reason is that he was in two films pretending
to be a rock and roller. He was in that awful Paul Schrader
movie with the Springsteen song and Joan Jett, "Light
of Day." He was also in "Back to the Future" pretending
to invent Chuck Berry licks. He oughta be castrated
so he can't reproduce. I don't pretend to be an evil
yuppie twit, he shouldn't pretend to be a rock and roller.
Do you remember his song on the "Light of Day"
soundtrack. It was some sort of ballad. ("You Got No
Place to Go")
I've actually only seen part of it. I got so mad. I
like Schrader and I love Springsteen, but I was just
so hacked. 'Cuz I hate seeing rock and roll done poorly,
which it usually is. However, I thought "Almost Famous"
was great. Cameron Crowe is a real romantic and it was
really a romance film, but all the details were correct.
I think Crowe is the same age I am. I remember reading
the stories when I was in high school, and apparently,
he was too.